Covid, Mindfulness and Depression; a Personal Story

The following stemmed from a recent conversation over Skype with my father. He lives in South Africa, and we were discussing the pandemic, you know, moaning about the state of his government and the UK government, and the differences between the two. We came to a conclusion that South Africa seem to be responding with more urgency and confidence than the bumbling lot who currently sit in Number 10, Downing Street. However, with all the fear and worry, we sort of fell on a notion:

Can Covid-19 be a friend?

It is a serious illness and sadly many people have died; yet my father and I sort of felt that this is something we are going to have to learn to adapt to and live with, like we do now with the Flu. So I made a list: 

Good things that have come out of the Covid-19 pandemic:

• natures re-set
• no more kissing and hugging everyone you meet
• less traffic
• people avoid you in the street
• internet has no borders
• we are all in this together
• I get to look like Zorro!

Of all those, the one I have not missed is the hugging and kissing everyone; why we had to do this in the first place has always been questionable. Personally it has always been awkward, and thankfully now not socially acceptable. If this ever comes back then I will consider becoming a recluse because I never know if it one on the cheek or two or three and, frankly, I don't care. I don't need to hug every old friend or family member, let's just say hello to each other and get on with it.

What do you think? Is there anything about the pandemic that you think has been good or am I just delusional?

By the way, I do not intend to offend anyone who has lost friends and family to this horrible illness, I send you my thoughts and wishes. By trying to find some positive in an awful situation, I think we can better honour the memory of those who have died. 

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. Marianne Williamson

 The statement above is perfect for the message I am continuing to put out there. Our light is our fear, our darkness is what keeps us in fear. My book, The Self-Harming Pacifist, is my account of an episode in my life where I was going through serious depression and harm. Yet I concluded with myself that I was sick of feeling guilt and shame over having these emotions. Why should I feel guilt and shame as that only exacerbates the whole thing and makes it worse?

Society does not accept depression, anxiety or any other kind of behaviour that is not seen as normal. Is that right? I harmed myself on countless occasions and I was seen as weird, crazy, mad, at crisis level. I dd not hurt anyone else, only me, just me, I was not beating anyone up or aiming a gun at anyone. Yet I was the mad one. Apparently its fine to start a fight in a pub or fire a pistol at passers-by. 

I am convinced that we can change how we view depression by changing our culture and our reaction to those who have depression. The fact that cases of depression and anxiety are increasing is down to our culture, and not to a 'snow-flake' generation. We are all unique and emotional individuals who react in different ways to different scenarios...and that is exactly how it should be.

Being sad is not wrong; just as being happy is not wrong. The more serious sadness is not wrong, and the fact that we see it as wrong and have to diagnose people with drugs to get over it means that when you feel it, you also feel the guilt, the shame and the fear. Which makes it all worse.

We need to re-think this. I am not a doctor, or a psychologist, but I come from experience and the experience I had was not good; the drugs I had were not good; the mindfulness I learnt and became involved in has shown me a new way of thinking and finally given me an acceptance that I am good. Even when I feel depressed, I am good and that removes some of the depressions power. 

I have a course, coming online soon, that uses the arts to make you feel better about your emotions and anxieties. There is a really cool meditation technique and some ideas to get your life on track and make a positive step forward. It is called The Mindful Imagination Experience, and it will soon be available.

Watch this space. Be kind to yourself and to each other. We can change the world with love.