Making Friends with Your Darkness - Mindful Imagination Experience

Welcome to the Mindful Imagination Experience. 

It is in the darkness that you truly see yourself. The monster that I walked into that night was of my own creation. I am the monster and the light. I am the hero and darkness. We are one, two are the same and Jekyll and Hyde is real. It is your ego and your imagination. The darkness makes us stronger, it makes the light shine brighter. Know your darkness and learn to balance with it. That way you can create a golden light. 

We all need friends don't we? Start with yourself. 

The darkness I am talking about is my depression; the night I walked into was my fear. I had fear of the past, fear of the present and fear of the future. I feared that I did not have a future. It was one September night over 10 years ago that I walked into the pitch black and faced that fear. I am still here; the fear has subsided.

Fear is the enemy of an empath. What is the usual response to someone who feels the need to commit suicide? It is fear, where it should be compassion. This is fuelled by our modern society and the norms that we have been indoctrinated into. To personally feel suicidal is not a problem except to society, in fact it could be argued that it is a perfectly natural human response to an emotional reaction to the world. We all feel we want to give up at times. It is how we deal with it that creates the problem. By using fear to challenge suicide, we escalate the emotion and make it worse. It is akin to making drugs illegal and pushing them underground, they become something mythical. They become a bigger monster than they actually are. Our society and its need to control and make everyone the same, creates fear of human emotion. 

Being kind to your fears and worries, listening to them and allowing them a bit of space to breathe can help to give them less power. By burying them deep, you push them into some unknown internal space where darkness only grows. Keep those feelings out and they are washed with light, given more time to be shone upon and then the darkness fades. You cannot stop the bad emotions, but you can choose how to respond to them. 

Ultimately your life is in your hands. The myth about suicide or self-harm is that it is an 'in-the-moment' decision, it is not. In fact most are brought to that decision through a series of events and their cloud of negative darkness drives them to one conclusion. It happens over time and it doesn't have to happen. Being scared is not something to be scared of; if you can help and show empathy, or a hint of understanding, that is way more important and can rectify a situation far greater than someone who drags you to the doctor for pills, or who thinks you are mad.

   

Society created madness to control the people it couldn't control; the risk-takers; the questioners; the dreamers; the flyers. 

Just by showing love to a person, and what does that cost, you can change a life. Love is not sex or drama or lust; love is compassion for another person. You can love and not be in love, do not confuse the two; two men can love each other and it is not sexual. They are two men who are compassionate and caring of each other's needs. Empathy is an arm around the shoulder. 

We can change the world through love. All it takes is a little imagination, a lot of determination and plenty of belief. If we channeled the energy of the darkness that we see, you know all the hate and anti-this and that and all the isms that float around, that can be turned to light and given greater power for the greater good. 

You fight hate with love the same way you douse fire with water. Love is calm; love is quiet; love is listening and trying to understand. Hate is none of those things. 

Therefore I ask you that when you head out to work or to a friends house or to the shops, place yourself in a zone of love and see what happens. If you believe in it, and believe that you are surrounded by it, the universe will start to open doors for you that you never realised could be opened up. Do it.

I recently watched a beautiful film on Bluray that I wholly recommend, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. Tom Hanks is superb as the late Mister Rogers, who entertained children for four decades in the US. Here was a man who was empathic, supportive, understanding, philosophical and mindful of anyone. He taught many children lessons on life and spoke about the things adults find difficult to approach. He is an inspiration, and I find it quite strange that I have seen this movie at this time in my life. 

Being a child of the United Kingdom I did not know of Mister Rogers or his impact. His television show is weirdly similar to my show on Mindful Imagination and his lessons echo the message I am trying to put out there. Watching this movie has inspired me to push my show and online experience further and how I can get it out there during this pandemic. 

A great film, I cannot recommend it enough.

5 Ways to Create Order - a Mindful Imagination Experience

 

Welcome to the Mindful Imagination Experience...

Empaths trying to find order in their world. 

We all have heroes. Fact. Perhaps you think otherwise, but just for fun, why not attempt to discover who your heroes are. 

Sometimes you hear the question asked where you invite five people to dinner, who do you invite? Trying to think about people who you admire, trust, aspire to, or agree with is difficult; there are some who have achieved great things but who also have pretty sordid deeds done in the background. A popular choice, in the UK anyway, is Winston Churchill; yet here is a figure who while worshipped for his leadership during World War 2, also has some despicable acts to his name before that. Heroes have flaws and perhaps that is what draws us towards heroes. 

Let's take another hero and this time from comics, Batman. Now he may roam the streets at night clearing up the serious crime that takes place in a violent Gotham City, but he is hardly a figure of heroism. Here is a man in costume, much like his villains, and a man who is haunted by his past. He treads a thin line between being on the side of the law or being sent straight to Arkham Asylum himself.

Heroes have flaws; that's why we are drawn to them.

You are a hero yourself, you are the hero of your story and your flaws, which could be depression, anxiety, panic attacks, thoughts of suicide, self-harm...tick any boxes you like, they make you the hero that you are.

We are all in different worlds, our own universes. I see the world different to you and you see the world different to your partner, sister or best friend. We all see it in different shapes and colours and smells and we react in the way we need to; the best you can be is the hero for your world. Your anxiety, emotion, darkness, empathy, is your heroic strength. 

We are not taught that by anyone. So I challenge you to see those powers that you have in a positive way, no matter what it may be that you are thinking; it is you, it makes your hero a full-blooded, well-rounded and strong hero for your life. You are your hero in your story. In true hero style, you need to kick ass! This world does not hand out cards easily, but I strongly believe that the universe has ideas for us that we can grab; it is noticing and acting on those opportunities that single us all out. Trust in yourself, and act on the hero inside you. In short, take a risk to achieve the end result. 

I have a new book out, called The Self-Harming Pacifist. In it I try to make sense of my world, and how I have come around to being in a place where I am not ashamed to be feeling the emotions that I feel, but I try to tell myself that they are my strengths. I have been in the middle of a fog of anti-depressants and I hated it; I want to be in a kaleidoscope of the universe, and to do that I have to accept that some days will be darker than others. My strength is my knowledge that I can overcome that.

In a change to this blog and in my own small way to support BLM, I am always wanting to expand and change and move forward and learn; I recently re-discovered on a USB stick: Paul Simon's... 

Recorded in 1985 in Johannesburg at the height of Apartheid, Paul Simon was criticised for appearing to support the racist government where he was actually supporting the traditional music of Africa. It is a great album, with some wonderful tracks such as Gumboots, Diamonds on the Soul of Her Shoes and Homeless. Seek it out.

Paul Simon clearly has a love of African music and this helped to bring its magic and mystery to a Western audience. The album was a huge hit on both sides of the Atlantic and still stands as a beautiful experience. The music is powerful, most definitely when traditional African rhythms and tones are used, especially acapella. I also love the lyrics, the beautiful oddity from Gumboots and the story of You Can Call Me Al. It is a wonderful album from a time when listening to an album was a treat, start to finish; also from a time when the ills of the world were very much in the news and it felt as if we would all pull together to try and make change. I want to change how we view depression; I also want to be in a society where racism is not even mentioned, because it does not exist. We seem to be a long way from that, and further back than we were in the 80's. 

Borders are out of date. There are no borders in the web and there should be none now. We have regressed as a society and this has been driven by fear, by anger and by weak news outlets powered by right wing thinkers. If the West creates the problems in the Middle East, and then sells a lifestyle of freedom and reward, why the hell would those persecuted by a corrupt and violent government not want to come here? The West perpetuates the problem, sells a solution, and then uses those 'immigrants' to champion fear and hate back at home. Thus fuels racism, separatism, sexism, white supremacy, and extreme right paranoia. 

Is that democracy?

5 Ways to Create Order

No Borders.

No Fear.

No Competition, but a willingness to continue to develop and support each other.

No guilt. We feel what we feel, so the fuck what?!

No More Corruption. It's not the corporates who are the problem, it's not the tax dodgers and it's not the immigrants; it's the people in power, and most of them are men and most of them are white. What does that say? 

In my humble opinion. 

So what am I learning on my journey to an almost enlightened state on my emotions? First, that fear and hate have no place in a world; second, that we should not be made to feel bad if we feel bad, it is natural; third, that our world of fear, you know, the one with racism and the such, also fears people who have suicidal thoughts enough to lock them up or drug them...that's not right. Fear can be overcome, and history, myths and fables tell us that the one person who overcomes fear is a hero.

Go be you hero.